15 November 2012

Sleep Draining

I was talking to a friend the other day about how I stress about basically everything B related.  Buying a stroller?  Need to pick out a car seat?  Choosing a crib?  Stress, stress, stress.  She looked at me and said, “what happened to you?”  Apparently I was not always this way...hmmm.  I have always been somewhat paranoid.  Please, please never leave me wondering where you are because I come up with all kinds of horrible scenarios in my head.  Having a baby, however,  turned me into an even more paranoid mess.

 I actually think I cried every day for the first two weeks or so after B was born – not because I was sad, but because I was terrified (and ya know – those hormones, they can get to you).  I was really scared and uncertain about a lot of logistical mommy things.  What should I do if his umbilical cord comes off to early and oozes yellow stuff!?!   (It did and I took B to the ER for no reason).   Why is he jaundiced and what if it causes brain damage?  (I had the docs prick his foot too many times before I was assured he wasn’t that jaundiced).  Why did he roll over at a month?  (The internet told me this could mean hypertonia and I was convinced he was).  B had many visits to the doctor in the first couple of months and I was glued to the internet creating crazy diagnoses for the little guy.  Is this a form of PPD?  I’m not sure, but thankfully I have mostly gotten over the thinking my son has every illness known to mankind. 

STILL though, I get stressed about things.  Sleep is the thing that has made me pretty uptight lately.  If you have been within earshot of me in the past month then you have most likely been asked for baby sleep advice.  Most of the advice I have received is “sleep train.”  There are multiple ways to do this and I have tried multiple ways.  I researched and tried different methods.  Researching only stressed me out more.  From the books I read and the internet sites I scoured, I basically gleaned one thing: there was no “right” way to sleep train.  Each way had detrimental consequences.  On one hand, if you let your baby cry-it-out in any form he will become emotionally distant and lose all trust in you.   On the other hand, if you always soothe your baby to sleep he will never learn how to do it himself and become a clingy, dependent insomniac.  Lose-lose-lose-lose.  I obviously do not want B to be emotionally scarred or become a helpless insomniac.   Up until about a couple weeks ago I felt just as crazy as I did right after B was born (sleep depravity played a role as well I am sure) because I just didn’t know what to do and didn’t want to ruin my child. Cue tears - many many tears.  In the end I decided to chill out a bit, create a very simple bedtime routine and follow it every single night, and stop stressing over every single nap and night time waking.  B is getting better – he’s teething so we’re not willing to let him CIO for now (plus we already tried that), and maybe won’t even have to again.  Who knows.

But I have to say, sleep training in any form is draining – physically and emotionally. 

  All I know is that despite my many insecurities as a mom and the fact that I am most definitely an imperfect one, I am so happy that I get to mother this happy little guy who always wakes up smiling in the morning (even after a rough night).

01 November 2012

Halloween 2012 and Halloweens past

Before I post super cute pictures of Baby B the Pooh, let me say that we have never really been "Halloween people."  It definitely isn't my favorite holiday and neither Ryan or I particularly enjoy dressing up.  Planning a costume theme around a baby is much much more fun though.

Despite our scroogy Halloween attitude we have successfully shown some Halloween enthusiasm in the last two years.  In 2010 there was no dressing up (we were in NYC the weekend before Halloween and missed all the parties) but we did produce these:

Not hard to guess whose is whose.

In 2011 Ryan actually dressed up!  He claimed this would be his Halloween costume for the rest of eternity because it couldn't be beat.

Blue Devil and an angel - no pumpkins were carved this year. 

This year Ryan was not a Blue Devil surprisingly (although I'm sure he will be someday again).  While trying to figure out what B would be for Halloween we stumbled upon an 8 dollar Winnie the Pooh costume - it was ridiculously cute and since B happens to love the Pooh characters...costume found!

Ryan was wearing a yellow polo and blue shorts when we found the costume - uhhh..Christopher Robin anyone??


I decided on Tigger.  I love family costume themes.

 Of course we had to add a little more to Ryan's costume - red balloon and dress shoes with crew socks. 

I might be biased but I think B is the cutest little Pooh Bear ever.
We also went to Ryan's work Halloween party (B was so flirtatious with all of the ladies giving out candy...he loves people cooing at him)

And a pumpkin?  We bought one and planned on carving Tigger into it but had no time this last weekend and never do in the evenings since we try to go to bed insanely early for two adults.

We are sleep deprived, yes we are - thanks to our little Pooh Bear.